funny kind of feeling

So chatting to a friend last night about how dave treated me over the weekend, she suggested that I might want to think about coming out at work. It was something that I had in my head to do only after I'd got a referral from my GP. Especially as I'd heard that clinics tend to not take the first day of the real life experience before. I didn't want to go through trying to live full time before hormones if it's not going to count to the stupid long real life stuff that I have to go through prior to surgery (because top surgery is what I really really want).

BUT it's got me thinking about what I do want as the next step. And thinking about that has me mentall running and hiding about all the scary scary change.

I'm hoping that ignoring the feeling until it passes help. And then I'll be able to move on. I had afterall, been thinking that I would see my GP before the end of the year. It's the 1st of june! Gah! Change, quick. Gah!