My first appointment

I was with one of the new guys at the Laurels. It was an hour long. I expected to have to reharsh much of the stuff that I'd rehashed in previous appointments about why I think I'm trans. I was expecting to have to rehash traumatic stuff and feel rather shit at the end of it.

I was pleasantly surprised. I mean, I did have to rehash about my childhood. I did have to talk about the depression and relive some shit things. But we didn't dwell on them. I also got asked about how far I'd gotten and where i wanted things to go.  Which was expected . . . but still nice considering he didn't seem to think less of me for saying that I'm not interested in making a decision about surgery on my genitals until I've explored how I feel after hormones and chest surgery.

The really surprising thing was that he recognised that I have been sliding into role. Having described how I had recently done my deedpoll, spoken to my manager, how I have been formulating plans for coming out with my manager, how all my friends have started to use my new name and new pronouns, my family know and are supportive . . . he said he felt that I was pretty much starting my real life experience nowish. I need to get my deedpoll back from my mum (I was using her address for it to be returned because I don't trust our post atm) so I can carry on getting my documents changed and take it with me next time. Work is the final hurdle and one way or another I'm coming out there in a couple of weeks time. It would be next week if my manager wasn't away. I can't keep using my old name on paperwork, it's getting really frustrating. It's less about talking to customers and more about writing out that old name.

So housemove tomorrow and then I need to go clothes shopping soon.