I didn't think it would happen like this

The first few years I was with my boyfriend we lived seperately, spending weekends together. For four and a half years though we've lived together. And last night I took the decision, and spoke to him, about moving out again. It's more complicated than in the past though because we've been living in a house, we have a dog and we have a scout troop which would fold without both of us. So I'm not moving out straight away because if I do it's likely that I'd end up still here half the week and I can't afford that. So I'll be looking to move into the city. Some of my reasons are to do with my relationship with my boyfriend and some are to do with living all the way out here. None of the reasons are to do with my gender. Which is what I thought would cause this.

I feel a bit less stressed just for realising this and vocalising it. But now I have to go and face another day of work.

the thought crossed my mind today

So I was having one of those "I want to transition already" moments this afternoon and then I realised - oh yeah, I have my appointment this thursday. Hopefully the last hurdle before we can start talking actual treatment type transitioning stuff. So yeah, stuff is happening.

And I think I might be settled on a name. So no one suggest ANY names, no I can't make choices. Don't suggest any other cools names to me. I shall just have to do as I used to and use cool names as character names in fiction. Relationship stuff and depression don't help me in moving stuff forward. On the plus side - am expecting phone call from best friend tonight.