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Things slipping away
Nov. 8th, 2010 07:05 pmSince I took the decision that transition was a when and not an if - I've felt very firmly about my gender and how I am not going back to living as a woman full time.
I think it's a combination of the stress and some depression but I do actually feel my gender slipping away from me. Hard to explain. Probably even harder to understand. It's not that I feel that I'm not a man, but that my identity is getting lost behind everything else at the moment and I'm complusively doing things that I used to do before I started to transition.
I'm horribly stressed and ill at the moment. And I spent so much time cleaning saturday that I pulled the bad tendon in my bad thumb. Trying to use a mouse at work, using a pen, even just picking up my coffee mug - hurt. I can't wait until boyfriend's finally finished the show season so that he's not constantly taking his stress out on me.
I think it's a combination of the stress and some depression but I do actually feel my gender slipping away from me. Hard to explain. Probably even harder to understand. It's not that I feel that I'm not a man, but that my identity is getting lost behind everything else at the moment and I'm complusively doing things that I used to do before I started to transition.
I'm horribly stressed and ill at the moment. And I spent so much time cleaning saturday that I pulled the bad tendon in my bad thumb. Trying to use a mouse at work, using a pen, even just picking up my coffee mug - hurt. I can't wait until boyfriend's finally finished the show season so that he's not constantly taking his stress out on me.
