Grief

Jul. 11th, 2011 08:42 pm
meegosh: (Default)
[personal profile] meegosh
This post is overdue. I meant to write it about a week ago.

Last week I found myself grieving for the life that would not be lived. Not in a way that felt like the door I was closing was the path I wanted to take. It felt more like I was just realising that I was putting aside the life, and the expectations which had gone with that life, aside. I could suddenly understand my mother's grief.

My girlfriend framed it as that I had been [old name] for a long time. But it doesn't feel like that encompassed it entirely. I wanted to do *something* to remember that life or perhaps to release it from me. Lay some flowers or something.

Shit's happened since then and I've moved on. But I wanted to record that this feeling happened. I don't know if this feeling is common to other trans folk or not. But it feels a bit like the first time I've been able to get some perspective on the past.

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meegosh

July 2011

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