Apr. 16th, 2011

meegosh: (Default)
It sucks being trans, it sucks still having to wait for a decision on whether my assessment can be funded, it sucks that my mental health is being affected by the wait, it sucks that my career is kind of on hold waiting for my mental health to improve.

Of course I'm focusing on the positives in my life and the fact that things will get better - but for the moment I can't shake the fact that dysphoria sucks and that I'm in a not great place.

I want to get on with my life but it feels like there's endless hold-ups. The NHS, waiting for my manager to get back from leave, waiting now a month until I have a one-to-one scheduled with my manager so that I can come out. My skin crawls every time a customer at work repeats my feminine name back to me and annoys me that of course they have no idea how hearing it affects me. I want to get on with my life but it feels like the universe doesn't want me to. I know things will get better, but the waiting? that just plain sucks. (I know that I'm lucky that things will get better, don't think for one moment I don't realise that)

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meegosh

July 2011

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