Mar. 15th, 2011

meegosh: (Default)
In general my mood is doing better and I am coping with the panic attacks etc better, but seriously - my brain hurts because whilst it's easier to deal with all the shit - it's still there!! You know, plus side effects.

I just tried to do some research about hormone stuff and my brain hurt/was so overwhelmed that I had to stop as soon as I started. I read something that someone wrote the other day on a comm - about looking forward to decades of injecting hormones. And it just floored me. It's not that I didn't realised it, I just hadn't viewed it in the long term, big picture kind of way. Because of course I spent my childhood, into my teens, having to inject hormones every day. I couldn't cope with facing that for the medium term (as it was). It's a sad thought that I will have to face ongoing injections for the rest of my life (by choice) and everything that goes with regular injections. I've been there and it's not a happy thought about going back, but hey . . . we'll see.

So I'm rather caving in from the weight of job stuff, knowing I really need to come out to my dad, and looking forward to my cuddles when my sister's baby is born and magically wanting everyone to know and be ok with what's happening with me so that when that baby is born - I get to be acknowledged as "uncle" and not "aunt". I wants me my cuddles - come on baby be born already!!

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meegosh

July 2011

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