Feb. 23rd, 2011

meegosh: (Default)
Well woke up to the news about "The Brig". Fecking legend and many of us will be grieving for some time yet. The world is a little less rich without him.

And then just before my morning break today we got the news that my team leader is moving to another team (not her request) and we'll get a new team leader I've never met before. The whole team is taking it really hard. Heck I cried several times today about it. So many of us have been supported by her through some really tough times. And I knew that I would be through my transition. We meet the new guy tomorrow. Apparently he's great too, so we'll see.

Am stressed about trying to write my "promote me" bit.

I've been getting really bad headaches the last couple of days. I only managed to get into work today because of multiple painkillers. I'm feeling like I can't work through everything piled up on me right now. That's the depression talking. But it still doesn't help. I feel like I need a time out but just doesn't know how to get it. I want to ask for help, but know that I can get the help I actually need.

Hopefully this feeling will pass and I can get on with stuff again. In the mean time - I'm trying to be positive about the changes at work and I will phone my sister and pick her brain about the promotion stuff. Failing that I will pick my friends' brains cos I'm sure I can get some help there. That still leaves volunteer stuff, but I have another week to work on that.

And well, just sharing with you guys just a little of the weight on my mind. I am really really suffering. My mum is worried that I won't react well to anti depressants because she didn't. She said that for her it just made her feel a bit distant, which wasn't helpful. But sometimes I think that will be helpful for me. I hope that they will help me focus on the things I need to rather than feeling low or managing pain caused by stress because I'm struggling to hold things together. If I can focus on those things then I might just transition at work  pre hormones. I've been thinking about it but with everything on my mind right now I haven't been able to see a way through to that end.

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meegosh

July 2011

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