Jan. 14th, 2011

meegosh: (Default)
As a trans guy:

I view my body against a mental feminine template and my skin crawls, then I feel sad.

I view my body against a mental masculine template and my body's all wrong, then I feel sad.

And then I feel trapped.

And right now, I don't want to think about this because feeling trapped causes stress, frustration, and lashing out.
meegosh: (Default)
I normally spend the last few weeks before my birthday mentally preparing myself for my new age so that these days it feels like the day itself isn't so big cos I alreayd feel like I'm there.

So today was my last day in work before my birthday (tomorrow) so of course I had lots of people asking whether I had anything special planned. And I thought to myself "it's no biggy, turning 27 isn't going to change my life". However of course, it is. Not because I'm turning 27 per say but because going to take one of those bloody difficult to take back steps. Coming out to my mum.

I'm awaiting my hopefully final independent appointment before I can start being assessed for treatment by the GIC, I'm about to come out to my mum. Tomorrow I turn 27 and my world is going to change.


meegosh: (Default)

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